Three Babies, Two Businesses, One Marriage: What Nobody Tells You

There is a version of building a family and building businesses that looks beautiful from the outside.

It looks like matching goals, big dreams, shared calendars, family photos, and two people creating something meaningful together. It looks like black excellence in motion: a couple raising children, growing companies, and refusing to settle for an ordinary life.

And then there is our version.

Our version includes the big dreams, absolutely. It also includes interrupted sleep, unfinished conversations, business decisions made between feedings, and trying to remember who packed the diaper bag. It includes celebrating a win while holding a baby and working through a disagreement when both of us are too tired to explain what we actually mean.

This is our first post for The Perkins Fam, and we wanted to start with the truth.

We are raising three babies, managing two businesses, and learning how to protect one marriage in the middle of it all.

Before the businesses, there was us

One of the easiest things to lose when life gets busy is the memory of who you were before the schedules, responsibilities, and deadlines.

Before the businesses needed our attention, there was our relationship. Before there were three babies needing food, comfort, baths, and bedtime stories, there were two people trying to figure out what kind of life they wanted to build.

That part still matters.

It can be easy to treat marriage like the thing that will take care of itself while everything else gets handled first. The babies cannot wait. The business needs an answer. The house needs attention. Someone is always hungry. Someone is always tired.

But our marriage is not a background detail in this story. It is part of the foundation.

That does not mean we always get it right. Sometimes a conversation about business turns into a conversation about household responsibilities. Sometimes a conversation about the kids becomes a conversation about exhaustion. Sometimes one of us needs support but does not have the energy to ask for it in the right way.

We are not walking around with perfect communication and matching energy every day. We are two people doing our best to stay connected while carrying a lot.

The myth of the perfect 50/50 split

Nobody tells you that “equal” does not always mean 50/50.

Some days, one of us has more capacity. One person may be more focused on the business while the other carries more of the family responsibilities. On another day, those roles may switch completely.

There are seasons when one of us has to step forward professionally. There are seasons when one of us has to step back because the babies need more attention. There are moments when the work is shared evenly, and there are moments when “evenly” is not realistic at all.

The goal is not to keep score every minute.

The goal is to remember that we are on the same team, even when the workload feels uneven.

That is harder than it sounds when both people are tired. It is hard when one person feels like they are carrying more. It is hard when the work one partner is doing is visible and the other partner’s work happens quietly in the background.

Running a business comes with obvious milestones. A client comes through. A deal moves forward. A plan finally works.

Family work is often less visible. A baby is comforted. A meal gets made. A difficult bedtime is survived. A partner gets a few uninterrupted minutes to think.

None of those moments comes with a notification that says, “Congratulations. You helped keep the whole family moving today.”

But they count.

The workday does not end. It changes rooms.

When you are building businesses while raising three babies, there is no clean line between “work time” and “family time.”

The workday may begin with a business conversation and end with a baby waking up. A planning session may happen while someone is being rocked to sleep. A deadline may exist alongside a pediatric appointment, a mountain of laundry, and a kitchen that somehow needs cleaning again.

The office is not always an office.

Sometimes it is the couch. Sometimes it is the kitchen table. Sometimes it is a phone held in one hand while the other hand handles whatever the baby needs.

There is a particular kind of pressure that comes from knowing that both parts of your life matter deeply. We care about building businesses that create opportunity. We also care about being present for the small moments that will never happen again.

The first smiles. The sleepy cuddles. The funny expressions. The unexpected laughter. The ordinary Tuesday that becomes a memory years later.

There are days when the business feels urgent. There are also days when the business has to wait because a little person needs us more.

That is not always convenient. It is still our life.

Three babies changed the meaning of ambition

Before children, ambition can feel mostly personal. It is about what we want to accomplish, what we want to prove, and what kind of future we want for ourselves.

Three babies changed the question.

Now, ambition is also about what we are building for them to witness.

We want our children to see that excellence can look like discipline, creativity, and perseverance. We want them to understand that success is not only about money or titles. It is also about showing up, keeping your word, creating opportunities, and taking care of the people connected to you.

But we also do not want them to believe that success requires pretending everything is easy.

They will see the long days. They will see that plans change. They will see that their parents sometimes have to start over, rethink a decision, or admit that something is not working.

That is part of the lesson too.

Black excellence is often presented as the finished product: the achievement, the property, the business, the celebration. We are proud of those things, but our family is learning to value the process just as much.

The excellence is in continuing.

It is in building while tired. It is in loving each other through stressful seasons. It is in raising children who know they are deeply loved while also teaching them that meaningful things take work.

The hardest part is bringing the pressure home

Business stress does not always stay at work.

When something is uncertain in the business, it can affect the mood in the house. When money is tight, a decision is difficult, or a plan falls apart, it can be hard to leave those feelings at the door.

And when the babies are crying, everyone is exhausted, and there is no quiet place to think, even a small problem can feel enormous.

We have had to learn that not every business conversation needs to happen immediately. Not every disagreement has to be solved while emotions are high. Sometimes the most productive thing we can do is pause, take care of the babies, get some rest, and come back to the conversation with more patience.

That does not make the problem disappear.

It simply gives us a better chance of solving it without turning a business challenge into a marriage challenge.

We are still learning where the business ends and the relationship begins. The lines are not always clear when both people are owners, parents, partners, and decision-makers.

Marriage cannot be the leftover

After the babies are fed, the work is handled, the house is picked up, and the next day is prepared, there may not be much energy left.

That is when marriage can become whatever remains.

A few tired words. A quick update. A conversation about schedules. Then sleep.

We understand why it happens. We live it.

But we are also learning that the relationship needs more than leftover attention. Sometimes connection is a long conversation. Sometimes it is laughing about something ridiculous. Sometimes it is sitting next to each other in silence. Sometimes it is simply recognizing that the other person is carrying more than anyone else can see.

We do not always have elaborate date nights. We do not always have uninterrupted time. What we do have is the choice to keep finding each other in the middle of the noise.

That choice matters.

We are not balancing everything. We are building a life.

“Balance” makes it sound like every part of life can receive the same attention at the same time.

Our experience has been different.

Some weeks belong more to the babies. Some weeks demand more from the businesses. Some days are focused on our marriage. Other days are mostly about getting everybody through bedtime.

We are not trying to make every day look perfectly balanced. We are trying to build a life that is honest, purposeful, and full of memories.

That means celebrating the wins without pretending the journey is easy. It means acknowledging the hard days without allowing them to define the whole story. It means growing businesses while raising children, but refusing to believe that the children are in the way of the dream.

They are part of the dream.

Three babies, two businesses, and one marriage is not a polished formula. It is a daily practice. It is teamwork, tension, laughter, sacrifice, prayer, planning, forgiveness, and a lot of figuring things out as we go.

This is the Perkins Fam: still building, still learning, still loving, and still trying to remember where we left the pacifier.

And this is only the beginning.